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| have you ever surprisingly noticed halfway through a conversation that you've just made up everything you've said? | | |
| feeling bored, even when he's doing something. Therefore, I think a lot. I just finished reading "The Sirens of Titan" by Vonnegut, which postulates that all of humanity happened all for one of the stupidest, inane reasons. There is no answer, or there is one, but it's not a huge truth. Our history, our progress, all of our actions are towards a goal that's almost meaningless. What does that mean? Is it depressing to believe that we're meaningless, or is it freeing? Does it lift a huge burden off of our shoulders? Do we no longer have to worry about striving full force towards something higher and can instead relax or work at a more comfortable pace? Who thinks about these kinds of things anyways? I do.
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| When I was in New York, I happened to walk by Mr. Philip Seymour Hoffman on the streets. This motivated me to see "The Savages," a movie he had starred in this past year with Laura Linney and Philip Bosco. Hoffman and Linney are siblings, trying to deal with their aging father--nursing homes, living wills, medication, burial plans. It's stuff you don't want to really think about, especially about your--my--parents. Why does it make me sad to think about it? When did aging, a part of the human experience since the dawn of time, become something tragic, a fall, a decline? It shouldn't be, right? But it has become that: depressing nursery homes, dementia, and diapers. They have shifted from provider to dependent. I wonder what the solution is--if there even is one--a way to reinterpret getting older to be another part of life to appreciate instead of agonize. Maybe it is because we alien it, isolate it, and take the old away and out of the everyday that it becomes scary and dark and unknown. We do it because it reminds us that we too are mortal, giving us a constant glimpse of our futures. But I don't think it necessarily is something we should push away and I think we're one of the few countries that do that. But maybe it's too hard to live with your parents again after so many years, or we're too busy with other responsibilities. What should we do? I don't know.
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| Why do I want to be a lawyer? It's hard to articulate. It isn't exactly tangible, but I can definitely feel it. I enjoy learning about it, I enjoy working with it, but what about it? It has something to do with making arguments within the confines of precedent and logic. But why then, don't I like chess?
I think it's more about how I want to make something of myself. Something that I can be proud of and take care of my family (financially and with my trade). So I found something that fit both and was something I found interesting. I get tired of things easily and I wanted something that had many outlets and offered variety to match me and in many ways a legal profession fits this.
I do find myself falling into using law school as a badge of pride. I sometimes catch myself waiting to see the person's reaction after I proclaim my future plans. And I--not hate, but close, that. I don't want my job to be what makes me confident. I don't mind if it becomes my identity. Where do you think names like Smith, Carpenter, Tanner, and others came from? But I also don't want to be trapped into the job and I feel that I am slipping into "their" value system. The world that national-wall street-law firms have built. Where they work hard and spend hard. It's the only remuneration they receive for their toils. Then it gets to a point where "being poor" is the worst thing they could ever be cursed with. And being poor to them is the average yearly income of a middle class family. I don't want things, objects, possessions to be what I work for--or not the sole reason I work. I still want to be able to help people, however naive and unsupported by my non-existent community service hours that seems at the moment. I do enjoy that feeling I get within me when I get to see that smile, that gratitude. To help those who need it because everyone needs help every now and again. I just don't want to be useless, or stand by helplessly when troubles hit. I hope that I can stand up and do something.
this will probably be continued.
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| Former President Bill Clinton's commencement speech to the '07 graduating class of Harvard:
http://www.news.harvard.edu/gazette/2007/06.07/99-clinton.html
This might be the only speech I've ever read in its entirety, but I already know that it's going to be one of the best I ever will read. Well worth the time to read. I highly recommend it. It might even change your life.
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